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This is our first email submission. It is written by "Dipper".

Dipper
English 12
January 1, 2006

The Biography of Bruce Elliot

Bruce Elliot was born on September 31, 1952 in the desert of Chicago, Indiana where he was raised by a wild pack of wolves. It is a little known fact that as a child he worked in a sweatshop which manufactured clothes for Eddie Bauer. This is where he learned to dislike all items of clothing that fit properly. From that point on he chose to wear his pants up to his man boobs in protest. After leaving the sweatshop he met his new best friend Melvin Wentzel. He and his big blue ox (Melvin) traveled across America being douche bags. Whenever Bruce’s mighty axe would hit the ground it would cause the earth to split (this is how he made the grand canyon). Unfortunately Bruce met an untimely death on October 22, 3516 at six flags great escape. He was on the gondola ride and was not fastened properly. He fell out and died. Thanks to Bruce’s dumb ass, nobody can ride the gondola at six flags any more. Thanks a lot you douche bag.

Works Cited
www.tubgirl.com
www.wikipedia.com
www.google.com