President's Day

President's Day
by: Joe Marchese

Today is President's Day. A day that we can sit back and remember not just all the American presidents throughout the years, but also the more grassroots administration, leaders, and dictators who have so enhanced our lives. I hope sincerely that his next entry will shed light on the dark abyss from which WASD Administration operate.

I have to apologize. I may have been putting too much blame on our fair and well educated principal (pictured right). I've been doing some research and asking questions and it seems as though a lot of the new policy stems from our new superintendent and assistant superintendent. That, however does not answer the question in your mind right now: What could be the explanation for the picture on the right? We here at the SPLOoGE must regretfully inform you that our previous assertion of the robotic nature of our principal may be closer to the truth than we first believed. We shall now focus our attention and blame onto other people. Mainly this woman and this guy.

Meet Dr. Kathleen R Kelley. Here she is in her mugshot giving the fake smile of a deteriorating woman raised on hate and forgotten dreams. I suppose I really don't have anything against her, but that may be the problem. I've never seen or heard her and I've been having a hell of a time finding out anything about her. All the WASD website has is a few meaningless and mostly humorous words of hers that have all the energy and all the general and unfounded praise of a fascist to this school district and the people in our community. Here are some excerpts ...

"Our diverse student population provides an opportunity to help all students accept and appreciate cultural differences."

Apparently Dr. Kelley isn't aware of the local chapters of the KKK and Black Panther Party (I am a chairperson in this organization) that operate within our school, or the Militant Evangelicals that decorate that wall in the upstairs Hub. Also 32 and one half Asians, 25 Muslims, 11 exchange students, and 9 Jews out of 6000 students does not constitute diversity.( Actual Numbers: Hispanic: .54% American Indian Alaska Nationality: .02% Asian: .87%)
Neither does the fact that most of these students share the same culture of ignorance, blind nationalism, materialism, and greed that has been exclusively promoted and taught by your generation as well as the xenophobia and guilt you so willingly instill and allow to be instilled in your children.

"Our students are equipped to succeed in an ever-changing, complex, and increasingly global society." ...

(With rifles.)

The only jobs that exist in the United States any more deal with the military and since most Williamsport students are poor, our High School has been the target of many United States Army recruiting attempts. From a "tricked out" SUV with video games in the back at football games to that amazing rock wall the National Guard brought in, the Armed Forces has been trying to get you. Why you ask? Because, says common sense, to continue exercising our indirect and direct good ol' American Imperialism, we need soldiers. The rich are far too few in number to fight their own wars and so they wave the flag and with the help of the media (mainly Fox News) they get you to fight for them. Yaaay! Freedom! Merica! 9/11! Yaaay! Kill 'em all! Buy Coca-Cola! Democracy! Shop at Walmart! Go America!

"The Williamsport Area School District has a strong tradition of academic excellence."

Although I probably don't have to say anything seeing that this sentence is a joke in itself, I'll show you where we are right now. In 2006 58.6% scored either advanced or proficient (35% proficient) on the PSSA reading test and 48% scored either advanced or proficient on the math PSSA. (35% were scored below basic). We didn't meet our AYP (Adequate Yearly Progress) the last 4 years for the state and our scores over those years warranted "Corrective Action 1", which comes after "Warning" and "School Improvements" 1 and 2. This took me awhile to decode from what seemed like gibberish on the Pennsylvania Department of Education website, I've learned, well reaffirmed, that students at our school are dumb as hell. I also learned that research is almost pointless because all that people really want to offer you is how well they're doing, and what progress they've made attributing it to the great students and teachers of Pennsylvania or whatever, The same type of stuff that Dr. Kelley ralphed out. I go in search of the truth of a statement and all I find is more lies. It's as if our whole system is built up upon lies. I feel sick.

Enough about Dr. Frankenstein up there and more about Mr Hyde(pictured next to her). Here he is again. Notice that he is in fact, wearing his ID Badge. This is a good thing because a man looking like this walking into a government building would get stopped by security and then searched under a few words that could mean anything you want them to like; "reasonable suspicion" or "douchebag complex". I decided to investigate this picture further. I took the liberty of zooming in on this man's ID badge.
2x View

4x View

Then I digitally enhanced the picture and this is what I found. It seems as though this man suffers from I am going to call Onefacieushomostupidassinitis.
That is, he suffers from a condition where none of the muscles in his face work and he is forced to walk around looking like that for the rest of his life. I believe he is the first case ever discovered. At least he doesn't look like these guys.

Note that Bush is quoted to have saying "Failure is not an option in Iraq." I'm glad he's on board. Now we just need to get him an ID. Oh yeah, by the way, Bush is trying to start a war in Iran. Don't let him.
Happy President's Day All.