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The school announcements have been going on for only a little bit of time now and already Bruce has begun to directly and indirectly inject his seed of stupidity through it. Today we were faced with a public service announcement, most of you missed it because you were too busy selling drugs, smoking drugs, cleaning your firearm, making crystal meth in a Science Lab, vandalizing school property, committing arson to school property, committing arson on small mammals (human babies included), having sex with your significant other, having sex with your significant other's best friend, creating penises in all different mediums on school property (vandalism still but fun for everyone), collecting protection money, collecting milk money, wanking off, sleeping, feasting upon SunChips (so crunchy and good), or doing all those other things which Bruce knew that you were doing to prevent your own good education inside of our fair and just school.
"Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety"
I suppose I'm slightly critical of him because he's using this new medium to draw positive* attention towards himself and his policies throughout the school That is he seeks his own ends rather than the ends of all the students.
(*this is still in question)
While there is no way to shamelessly plug your musical and other endeavors, there is this option.
People Of The Sun cordially invites you to the
Grand Opening of the Brick House in Jersey Shore
Friday April 20th
Anyway, Among the guests scheduled for the upcoming morning announcements are Scruff Mcgruff the Crime Dog on to speak about drugs and dealing with strangers, and Smokey the Bear to talk about his new book "Chance of Forest Fire High, Chance of Anyone Caring Low." I've also heard rumors that they are going to start doing weather which will consist of one anchor going "How's the Weather?" and the other replying "It sucks". Seriously, what's up with the weather. Oh well. Anyway the whole point here is let's give up on the bites out of crime and focus on the bites out of SunChips.
3 comments:
Clever, clever! (as always) Too right, Bruce has begun exploiting the announcements far too often. Actually, he will be on tomrrow, Thursday, announcing... something. My personal guess is that it will be about what happened in Virginia Tech.If this is the case, I predict he will say something to the extent of "Don't worry, as long as we wear ID badges, don't carry backbacks or purses bigger than 8 by 11 and students don't park in A or B lot ($10 parking tickes if your unregistered. CRAZYAZY!!) we will all be perfect safe."
But all this can be easily solved. Don't wear your ID badge, Have it blown up larger and put it on a tee-shirt. It would great for spirit week. You don't need bags or purses, wear hooded sweatshirts with huge pockets and put thinks in there. They can't ban pockets, for Christs sake.
And as an unrelated side note- the speech is coming along quite well.
~Ann
Dear Ann,
Hahahaa
It seems like you could have a place here at the SPLOoGE if you wanted, even though technically we don't operate in any one physical location.
Expanding on the what you said, the SPLOoGE advises that you offer to let Bruce carry your books to your next class for you and make sure he doesn't take any locker breaks.
Best wishes to you Ann.
so, after the recent VT incident...what do you predict for your own school?
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