Mantra 2.0

Congratulations!  After a year of continuous ridicule and derision, "Failure is not and Option" is no longer the motto of Williamsport Area High School.  We'd like to think that we played no small part in the orchestration of its downfall.  From the time we coined the phrase "failure is not an option, its inevitable", to its appearance in both a graduation speech and on the highly stylish BETs, the SPLOoGE worked to undermine the credibility of the mantra.

However, something had to fill the void.  Many Bothans died to bring us this information.  The administration has begun the implementation of a new motto at Williamsport Area High School.  In the auditorium, approximately six banners now hang.  On a background of an American Flag, the school logo is pictured, along with the words, "Williamsport Proud, Capture the Spirit".  Let us take a closer look at this motto.

Williamsport Proud

Juniors and Seniors may notice something familiar about this phrase.  During the 05-06 school year, the recently retired Mr. Morgans (God rest his soul) made and sold shirts bearing the phrase "Port Pride" to raise money for the SGA.  For some reason, their was a great controversy over these shirts, due to their supposed, and utterly unfounded, connection to "gang related activity".  As both parts of each of these statements are essentially synonyms, I can only come to one conclusion.  The difference between school and gang sponsorship is alliteration.  Tell that to your English teacher.

Capture the Spirit

Williamsport Area High School is apparently undergoing a curriculum change.  While last years focus was on literacy (see Spot run) and numerical skills (2+2=5), this year is going to be a bit different.  Obviously, students will gather in the morning for a mandatory "Spirit Assembly", where we will recite hymns of praise to our school and the statue of "the Bruce" that will be erected in the auditorium.  Those refusing to participate will be thrown into the fiery furnace, conveniently located in T-Wing.  All funding will be channeled into these events, so all other school programs, classes, and employees will be cut.  The rest of the day will be ESO, extra spirit opportunity.  Although this program will be voluntary, those who choose not to attend will go to special, "spirit-adjustment" sessions.

In all seriousness, however, we are unsure how to take this new motto.  Perhaps more will be revealed at its "unveiling" this coming Wednesday.

Oh, one last thing.  Bruce, you got Scooped.