Appreciation

Recently report cards came out on time, for the first time since I've been at our school and all was hunky dory. In fact, school has been both hunky and dory for some time. This could all seem this way to me because we had Thursday and Friday off last week and all the things that kept me from writing here have since dissolved. (UMC show, College Application Stuff, Maz Homework, Maz projects, fear of Maz, nightmares about Maz, the fact that Maz is going to read this, and of course, how could we forget my oh so favorite past time of ... oh wait, past times are for people from the 50's, kids these days just drink.) I should however mention that I haven't ceased to write, I fill three pages of journal every week with nonsense for Doc Weaver. I thought about someday scanning it all in to a pdf, but I realized I would have to first translate it from the Sanskrit my handwriting appears to be, and then i started to think about how much I like all the colors, and then I forgot what I was talking about in the first place. Anyway, now I've decided to fill this space that is cyber with equally nonsensical type again.

Before report cards came out a number of us (the number is 8) received (orangeish?) envelopes containing the following items which I shall bullet because people can't abstract information from paragraphs.

• One 8.5 by 11 piece of paper

• One 1970s looking ridiculously over sized block letter Williamsport Honors Patch

The piece of paper was actually a letter and it looked like... oh wait this isn't 1970... I'll just scan it for you.
Notice the humorous use of "letter" as a double entendre and the quotation marks to draw attention towards it. I say, that is clever. Have a fair chuckle at it my friends. I fear I can not make fun of this letter. It is clear and concise as it is charming and understandable, not at all like the memos teachers get. (I need a good example of this, if anyone might be able to provide one...)

And then the best part was thisThe Sweet Ass Patch

Upon seeing this it became clear as day to me that I am the King. I flaunt it everywhere I go to make sure people know of my stunning academic accomplishments and my unwavering school spirit. I walk through the streets of my hood and people turn and look and they say "Damn, that kid is Williamsport Honors." and shop keeps stand on the corner saying "There goes that Williamsport Honors kid. He's gonna be big one day Just you wait." Do I even need to mention the women? But not incompletely non-unseriously folks, A patch? I don't mean to bite the hand that feeds shit, but don't we need books for underprivileged students and more teachers to replace all the teachers that we have lost over the last couple years? Freshman classrooms look like jungles, which is completely suiting no doubt given the nature of the freshman species, but it is almost disgraceful. Look I appreciate your gesture, but there are certainly better ones to be made. Hell start with the fact that we're all mostly treated like animals or numbers anyway. For example, A nurse today asked me where my ID was without making any eye contact with me. I apologized, introduced myself and extended my hand. She took much offense to this and told me that "you're supposed to be wearing your ID," to which I had to bite my tongue for many reasons. Have we truly gotten to the point in our school where we cannot handle genuine personal relationships between staff and students? I beg you always to first clean up the shit on the ground, rather than decorate it, that is, deal with the problems at hand.

If you would still like to show your appreciation to honors students either throw candy at us in the halls or leave us alone. Solitude and sugar are our favorite past times.