My Name Is...

As you have heard from my co-author, life is not kind to the college bound senior. With all of the assignments, and hence procrastination to do, it is hard to find time to write anything here at all. How I envy those kids who have dropped out over the past few months. DID YOU KNOW: until, like, two weeks ago, at least one student has dropped out...every single day of school. I'm beginning to see the advantages. No projects, essays, concerns about finding a job above minimum wage...it has to be the life. But I digress. Wait...no...now I finally get to the topic implied by my title that has no bearing on the above paragraph. I could have probably split this into two entries, but I'm too lazy to copy and paste into a new entry.

Where was I. Ah yes, everyone's favorite topic, ID badges. We've heard the standard complaints, teacher's acting like we're in a police state, the constant observation and alienation between students and faculty, and the general chaos caused by those student's who choose not to wear them. We at the SPLOoGE aren't going to let ourselves be held down by this oppressive regime; to have our spirits torn out and trampled on like so many human sacrifice victims. Since we have to wear these ridiculous "Bruce Nooses" (© 2007, SPLOoGE Inc.), why not make a personal statement with yours? Now the administration has sought to stamp out individuality, banning any non school-approved lanyards, but they have forgotten to regulate the appearance of the ID itself. The only criteria given are the visibility of ones name and picture. Several students have already taken advantage of this opportunity to show their individuality. I myself, along with creating alternate personalities for myself (see sidebar), I have taken a more Dadaist deconstructive approach to my own ID. Others have used more simplistic methods, accenting their ID's with color additions. The point is, if your ID is meant to represent you, make it an actual reflection of your personality. Goths, safety-pins can be easily added to both your card an lanyard, and sharpies can make anything black. My G's rollin both East and West side, pimp yo shit out with diamond's and whatever. There ain't nothin that should be 'round yo neck 'cept bling. Or, just support your favorite brands by making your ID a walking corporate billboard, just like all your clothes. The next time you're accosted in the hallway, show the warden your ID with pride, knowing it truly represents you.