Remember, remember

It appears that on this 5th of November, our fair school has been besieged by a great deal of tom foolery, haberdashery and hoodlumery. You see my friends, great acts of terrorism and high treason have occurred on school grounds this day. Leaflets of paper were written upon with marker and dropped all over our innocent hallways by evil, rebellious youths. By doing this, these simply un-millionarian students questioned the most important of bonds which hold us together and prevent our school from crumbling to the ground. This is why I'm demanding that the culprits of this heinous crime be found and then Hanged, Drawn, and Quartered.

On this day we have been attack'd, but I swear it onto God, that our retribution shall be swift.